If Women Could Have Eggs
This entry was posted on 2/13/2007 11:23 AM and is filed under uncategorized.
I'm pregnant. And for someone who is used to having that telltale "do you work out?" line down the middle of her abdomen, watching my belly expand isn't fun or cute. It's like watching years of Pilates fade into non-existence in a matter of weeks. But I'll live.
Then last night my husband came up with a great idea - why can't women just deliver eggs? A woman would feel a little tickle inside, squat and then ploop - out comes the egg. Our bodies would be saved all kinds of torture and then couples could just take turns sitting on it until it hatches. No abortions necessary, either. Don't want your egg? Don't hatch it.
Better yet, in this age of ever-expanding technology, we would have eletrothermal egg-hatchers. Stick it in this microwave-like hatcher for 9 months and then presto! Out comes the beautiful baby, who didn't, by the way, need to come through a drain hose to get here. Newborns would be so much better looking for it.
Of course then there would always be those bucolic-idealist hold outs - they're the same people who become Nazis about having drugs at the hospital. They would insist that the egg needs the closeness of the mother, that the mother's body rythms are essential to the wellbeing of the baby. They would warn that because of the selfishness of using an electrothermal egg-hatcher, babies would have a lower immune system, a higher incidence of asthma and stunted intellectual development. All because a woman didn't want to do nothing except knit baby hats and sit on her egg like a Ludite.
Well, who needs 'em? I'm PRO-EGG-HATCHER! I'm pro-egg!
Blucie.com 
